Those red MAGAt caps that TFG regularly tosses out at his little get togethers aren’t free. He buys them from a Chinese sweat shop for twenty cents each.
But if you watch carefully, after every toss, you’ll see Donnie Junior and his concubine scramble to shake down the recipients for $25 apiece.
TFG explained, “Yeah I’ve got them working the crowd. I worked for my dad. Doing a little work shaking down tenants for rent money didn’t do me no harm. But I did not like collecting from black renters. They scared me. We tried to refuse to rent to them - dad did not like them. But they’d sometimes get in. Legalities. My first experience fucking with the legal system. Thanks to my dad.”
“Anyway, it’s great to see Junior doing something that doesn’t require him to snort and Tweet. I blame his addiction on immigrants. That stuff turns him into an even bigger asshole.”
I gave my head a shake, something I always do after a Trump explanation, and I thought I’d check in with Junior…
“Dammit Kimmie - that talking cat is back! I told you he was real. He’s asking about the ‘campaign donations’ we demand after dad tosses the rubes a hat.”
“Oh fuck Junior - I’ve told you time and again - stop eating magic mushroom omelettes.”
I asked him about the hats again.
“I’ll tell you cat, we aren’t made of money - in spite of what my dad thinks in his ‘massive’ adderall addled brain. This campaign cannot succeed without money. A lot of our supporters don’t have money - they spend all their cash at church or for gas to come to these little get-togethers. But they contribute meth or moonshine, whatever they’ve got.”
“A few of them in the southern states even give us an hour or two with their teenage daughters or sons. The sons go to Lyndsey Graham’s campaign. The daughters are sent to Matt Gaetz - especially now that his dad bought him a couple of prosecutors. Matt tells me that many have gone on to work professionally in Nevada. That’s the big time for these broads. What else are they going to with a grade six education and a 36 inch bust?”
#AdoptDontShop