Trump plans to sue over half the population of the USA
"If you voted against me you can expected to be sued."
Late Saturday afternoon, at a MAGAt rally in Georgia, unindicted felon and twice impeached ex-president Donald J Trump announced that he will be going ahead with plans to sue over 60% of the population of the United States, in concert with his recent ‘my hurt feelings suits‘ against Hillary Clinton and a dozen or so others.
“I have obtained a detailed voter list showing who each citizen voted for in the 2020 election. If they didn’t vote for me - I will sue them.”
When asked how he managed to obtain what is supposedly secret information, the rotund orange man replied, “Let’s just say I have friends everywhere. Maybe even in the companies that supplied the voting machines that were used in 2016. Maybe even in certain eastern European nations known for their computer skills. I didn’t even have to pay anything upfront, they asked, but I refused. Not that I’m gonna pay them ever. I’m a master at stalling pending litigation. They can sue me. This should be public information anyway, MTG tells me that it’s written in the constitution.
“And when JFK Jr. and Ivanka and I are returned to our rightful places in the White House we will make sure that all voter information is public knowledge.”
Asked if this action wasn’t petty and juvenile behavior that is bound to be laughed out of court, Trump replied, “So what’s your point? Don’t you know me by now? This will inject some life into my rallies. Everybody is getting sick of Marjorie Taylor Greene and that Boebert broad. You should see the drunken losers that have been showing up. Junior was coked up at the last rally and got into a fight. He had the crap kicked out of him. Literally. He crapped himself.
“Now I have to go make a Zoom call to a friend in Moscow. He’s having a bad time right now. I’m sure a call from me will pick him up.”
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