Trump - "the unflushable sleeping turd"

"He just won't go away."

One of Trump’s discount legal team has called TFG ‘an unflushable’ turd.

I was chatting with this legal eagle the other day and asked how the team was finding Trump to work with, and more importantly, if they managed to get a retainer.

“Hmm, yeah we got one. But not without hounding all day and night for a week before the money finally came and we even started looking at his case.

“The strange thing was the retainer cheque had been drawn on a bank account held by the estate of Ivana Trump - his deceased first ex-wife. We waited for it to clear before starting any work.

“We are sorry we took this case. Our reputation is taking a shit-kicking. We have become a punchline.

“We are billing him regularly showing him how much of the retainer still remains. We have told him, in no uncertain terms, that once the retainer runs out we will stop working. He has promised us that there is still a lot of money in Ivana’s estate and told us to keep working.

“Truthfully, this is a lost cause. We are just making up shit as we go along. There’s not much else we can do given the preponderance of credible evidence against him.

“During court sessions he nods off and regains consciousness every half hour or so with another whacko thought that he wants us to relate to the judge. He is very insistent, and since he claims he will pay us after this is over, if we win, we are compelled to relay these thoughts to the court and jury. Assuming the trial somehow ends at some point. I’m skeptical.

“I think he is hoping this drags on past the election. He’s got his SCOTUS sycophants attempting to do just that.

“Delay, delay, delay. His words to us as the case hit the courtroom.

“I’m not positive but I think the fat guy is taking mushrooms. You would not believe some of the arguments he insists we put before the court and jury.

“He’s insisting that he wants this heard in the Supreme Court..

“Myself - I would be glad to have SCOTUS take it off our hands so we can get back to our lives.

“This feels interminable. Some days I wish was dead.”

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