Trump will self-pardon if elected and resign the next day
It's the only way he's going to get out of the hole he has dug himself
I popped in on Trump to see how the campaign was going and ask him why he wants to put himself thru all the shit again.
“I have to win; win in 2024, pardon myself and resign, all on inauguration day.
“That’s the only way to get out of this mess I’ve made. Wait a minute - will that pardon cover all the tax and banking problems?
“I don’t know and these lawyers I blackmailed into defending me sure as hell don’t have a clue. I see one of them slinging Big Macs on the weekend at the Mickey D’s near Mar-a-Largo. I asked to see his law degree - it was from ‘Bill’s Fry Emporium and Law School’ in Hoboken. If I had any intention to pay him, I’d sure question him about this. Good kid though, brings me free fries and Big Macs.”
(Truthfully, I don’t know which one of us was more embarrassed at the quality of his lawyer.) He continued…
“Oh, almost forgot Pillow Guy and ‘Leaky’ - that’s the name we hung on Rudy after that disaster of a TV interview where his hair dye started leaking under the lights. If I were Rudy, and still had a license to practice law, I’d sue them.
“Still, the little drunk bugger can still testify against me. Gotta watch that. I’m not worried about Pillow Guy, the idiot wastes his money making documentaries about how I was screwed.
“Sometimes I pray to God that the motherfucking idiot drops dead of a heart attack or something. I wish he’d go back to being a drug addict. Hmm, I just might be able to arrange that. I know some guys.
“I’m sure glad I got to know you cat. I don’t have many friends. I hated your fish-eating guts at first, but you grow on a guy. I love it when you purr. Calms me down. It’s weird that you only purr when I’m telling you all the bad things that are happening to me.
“Say, could you do me a favor and open a bank account for me. I’m not allowed, by law.”
We both started laughing at that comment. We knew he didn’t give a damn about the law and his incarcerated employees. Although it does seem to have worked out well for Cohen and his new career on TV, but his CFO was just doing what Trump told him to do, I’m sure.
“Feel a little bad for The Jew Weisselberg’ (Trump’s name for his accountant), but he did know all sorts of methods to skirt the law. Sadly, we won’t be seeing him for a little bit, and there’s some question if he’d even want to work for Trump Org again.
“It worked out so well before…”.
#AdoptDontShop #SlavaUkraini #CatsOfTwitter #CatsOfPost
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But the question remains - donate to local shelters in whatever country Nick and I are in at the time, or should we send it to N. American shelters?
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Again, thank you so much.
Love and purrs,
Tom and Nick