Truss - "I'm so far out of my depth. I haven't slept in a fortnight. I don't know what I'm doing."
"I don't know why I thought I could do this. The job seemed so glamorous."
It looks like the job is a little too much for Liz to handle.
She has been called into the headmaster’s office - the Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR), to meet with boss Richard Hughes to explain her mini-budget and the disaster it is inflicting on the people of Great Britain.
Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng is also being hauled in.
Larry the No. 10 cat was sat observing quietly in the corner during the short and sweet flogging.
“What the hell were you two thinking? This trickle down nonsense has been tried over and over - it doesn’t fucking work. Didn’t you two study economics or history in school? The world has been subjected to this time and time again.”
“Don’t you get it yet? The whole idea of substantially cutting taxes for the wealthy does not trickle down. Did you seriously think that the rich would spend the savings on goods and services that would benefit the lower strata of out population? Which, incidentally, is about 97% of the country.”
“The beneficiaries of your largesse spend their money on stocks, bonds, Bentley’s, yachts and the like. Absolutely nothing that would be of any benefit to the majority of the country. Oh - they may hire a few maids, groundskeepers and the like. Maybe even build a bigger house. But can you tell me how any of that is going to help a British population that won’t be able feed their families, pay their rent and avoid freezing to death this coming winter.”
“Now get the fuck out of my office and think about what you’ve done. And I want a new mini-budget by Tuesday next week. No excuses. And for fuck sake Liz - get some sleep. You look like shite.”
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