Tucker Carlson moves to Russian state TV full time

"It only makes sense, I've been working for them part-time for a couple of years."

Tucker Carlson, recently fired head shit-spreader of Fox News, has landed on his feet - like a cat.

Details are not known at this time, but word has it Tucker initially will be broadcasting for Russian state TV from his home in America.

I asked about his non-compete clause with Fox.

“Oh screw that. I’m MAGA - rules and laws don’t apply to me. If worse comes to worse and Rupert and his boys try to pursue it, the Russians will have me out of the US in an hour.

“They’ve promised me a nice two room penthouse on the top floor of a Moscow apartment building overlooking Gorky Park, high above the stench that pervades Moscow every year in spring, when the snow melts to reveal the rotting smell of the dead bodies who have fallen from their apartments.

“There’s no air conditioning in my penthouse, but the windows do open, so summer heat should not be a problem. It’s only hot for a week anyway.

“As well, they’ve made available a chauffeur driven Lada so I don’t have to take the city transit. Also potato and cabbage soup with every meal, coupled with fresh meat from whatever they happen to kill that day. I’ll be living the high life.

“The only drawback - no pension. But they assure me I won’t be needing a pension.”

#AdoptDontShop #SlavaUkraini