“Seriously Vlad, why? Why did you start this?”
“I was bored.”
“How can you possibly be bored? You have all that any one person can have or want. You have all that one deserves to have in one lifetime. Except maybe love. You don’t seem to have any love in your life.”
“Love? Love I can get for four hundred rubles an hour down at Olga’s Brothel and Pierogi Shop. Free bottle of vodka with every encounter. Always open, even at Christmas and Easter.”
“Is that the place you took that pumpkin-colored American with the dead albino rat on his head?”
“The MUI? The Most Useful Idiot? Yes, yes I did. He loved it and I even have a souvenir film of the good time he had there. I had no idea how valuable it would be. Americans are sick, simple, stupid fucks, no?”
“And those friends of MUI are incredibly stupid. Remember that group that showed up here on American Independence Day? Couldn’t be bothered to celebrate their country’s birthday, came here for bribes and sex instead.”
Vlad burst into laughter.
“You should see the tapes I got from that visit. I think most of them were virgins or maybe incels. Did not seem to know what they were doing. Hilarious. You know if we can get Rat Boy elected again, we should conquer America. And then, if I’m still bored, we conquer China.”
“We really have to find you a hobby Boss.”