Trump yelled into the phone, “Whaddya mean you need a place to stay? You’re the all powerful Putin.”
Putin replied, “Ever hear of the Romanovs? They were all-powerful too. The Russian proletariat seem to have taken exception to my actions in Ukraine, they are quite pissed, as you Yanks say. My mercenaries were toying with the idea of joining the Ukrainians. Took a lot of money and Russian teenage girls to change their minds.
“And they insisted on American dollars. I had to dip into my secret $US retirement fund. So much for retiring in Florida, I wonder if the Californians are a little more forgiving. And I hear LA is quite cheap.
Trump snorted, “Yeah - not sure where you got that information. I can’t even afford to live there. How do you think I ended up in this hellhole. According to the Florida governor I break several Floridian commandments just by having Barron read a newspaper to me.
“I’ve stopped watching Florida news - it’s just a constant stream of ‘thou shalt nots’. And Florida TV is just ‘Christian’ programming run by bored Florida housewives who don’t approve of lusting after your own daughter - no matter how hot she is.
“But you’re more than welcome to stay here. I know you’ll do the same for me in a couple of months.
“My law student legal counsel tells me it isn’t looking good. I can’t seem to find a real lawyer to help me. Even though I promise I’ll pay them from the book royalties I’ll get, if I can find a ghost writer who doesn’t mind working for free green fees.
“And to top it off, people are saying that they should check Bedminster the same way they stormed Mar-a-Larvae.”
#AdoptDontShop #SlavaUkraini