Worried ex-FLOTUS requests a prenup do-over

"I need more money to buy suits for my little boy. He's still growing."

TFG and his current family.

That wild and crazy, wacky Trump Klan is at it again.

“Tom, I have to buy Barron a new clothes every week. He just won’t stop growing,” Melania Trump explained to me as she justified the reason she needs more money when she and her tangerine husband finally divorce.

“Donald is going to prison. That’s a fact. A reality I have to live with.

“Do you really think he’ll give me any money then? Not a fucking snowball’s chance in hell. He can’t even afford to pay his lawyers.

“The GQP hillbillies are paying all his lawyer fees and, from what I hear, they are buying his clothes for court appearances and anything else he wants.

”If I want money for a new handbag or shoes I have to perform sickening acts with Donald. He makes me dress up like Ivanka.”

I wanted to do a little fact checking.

I contacted Cletus Cooper and Jethro Johnson, two high ranking GQP members from Florida and Arkansas. Both are middle school graduates who can do arithmetic.

They confirmed that, in addition to legal fees, they are also giving any and all money from their members to TFG to do with what he wants.

“He spends a lot. Usually on girls and binge eating at the Golden Arches.

“And golf balls. And overly long red neckties. And orange spray tans. And Junior and Eric - they always need something. I wonder what they’ll do now that it looks like the Trump Organization will be shut down.”

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